I continued my review. I had reviewed only a few more pages when I understood why I had experienced my acceptance of 'who I am', that very morning.

I was surprised that day, when I realised that I had been writing Understanding Who I Am. However God did not offer any concrete information, and I did not push the issue.

I was tired, and not for the first time I wanted to discontinue my need to write.

God said, "That you wish to discontinue your need to write is understandable my friend. Many full time writers would greatly desire your need to write, but it is not only your writing that tires you, it is all that you have experienced and that you need to write in addition to your full time employment that tires you."

I considered all that was allegedly going to occur, and I thought that it did not seem possible that everything that was allegedly going to occur could occur, especially not within the time frame which I had been given.

That evening I meditated, focusing on what I knew would transpire, trying to determine if what I knew was going to occur could be simply my imagination. Once again, I recalled what I had been told by numerous Tarot readers and by my friend Sue. What each had foreseen for me was consistent and exactly the same as I knew my life was going to be. If only one of the Tarot readers had suggested the outcome which I also foresaw for myself, I may have invented what I foresaw for myself, but there had been too many different, unrelated, and unconnected sources which had confirmed a consistent outcome of my journey, for what I foresaw for myself to be my imagination.

God said, "Do you recall when you first heard of …"

I interrupted. I did not want to hear what God had to say. I would allow events to transpire as events would transpire.

I found myself thinking of Marie only to the point that I believed that our circle was finally broken. More than two thousand years of sharing experiences had come to an end. However, our circle was far from complete.

That night, I was reminded that my financial problems were far from resolved.

I continued to attempt to resist my need to write, albeit without success. I was tired of existing within two worlds.

The following morning Anne rang. Anne gave me some information which once would have affected me in one way or another. This day, I barely noticed the information. I reflected on the experience. I had been given the character and achievements that those around me had often gossiped about me, whether they knew me or not. I supposed that experiencing such gossip and rumour was a part of my preparation for my task.

I wondered if I continued to write as some form of security blanket.

God said, "Do you really believe that you write as a security blanket? You have attempted to discontinue writing on a number of occasions. Often when you have a completed a book you have been relieved and satisfied that your writing was over. No my friend, it is not you who 'keeps your writing going', your writing is your chosen role."

I knew that God was right. My problem was that balancing between two worlds had drained me.

I continued my review. I wondered about all of the times when I had been told previously that I had 'created a new environment' and then that I was 'existing within an interim reality'. The experience was very confusing.

God said, "Your experience was only confusing because your awareness was such that you did not understand. As I explained to you yesterday, the new environment or new world that you created was an environment which required you to place yourself entirely in my hands. We used this experience to demonstrate that even when all seemed physically impossible, circumstances would occur to make all possible.

"You needed funds to follow where I led and the necessary funds arrived in time and from a variety of unexpected sources. You needed some financial relief so you were forced to move home at a time which may have appeared unreasonable, but it was also at a time when you had the financial resources to move home. The result was a cheaper, albeit temporary, home which demonstrated that being forced to move home was really a solution not a problem, or as it has been often termed 'a blessing in disguise'.

"This new environment that you have created will soon fulfil its purpose, and you will create an environment which will be a new world, and which will allow you to explore your new world. The new world that you will create will be that of living within my promise. Your previous new world was also an interim world, because you will create another new world, so both terminologies were correct.

"Your confusion is a result of a lack of understanding when you believed that you had understood. However, a lack of understanding was necessary to allow you to fully experience a world which required you to place yourself in my hands."

I was the female dog again. As I washed my puppies, I recognised many of their souls. Many of my puppies were people whom I had encountered within this lifetime.

I found myself considering my mother and my brothers and sister from this lifetime. I had no connection, no past life experiences with any of my immediate family. None of them were in my life at the moment, and they had not been in my life for some time. I understood that I was again being used as the example. I was demonstrating that we are not necessarily connected with the souls who are our family members within any given lifetime.

I reflected that much of my current awareness related to tying up some loose ends within the record of my journey. I also reflected that there had been other stages of my journey which had required me to tie up loose ends, before I could move on.

I sat on a hillside, in front of the small cave were I slept. I wore only a few rags but I seldom felt the cold within my insanity. I sat as I did most days staring at the sun muttering to myself, 'It cannot be, it cannot be'. I was extremely thin. I ate only what berries I found in the forest. I drank from the stream at the bottom of the hill when I could motivate myself to walk down the hill. Often it would take me two days to motivate myself. I went to the toilet wherever and whenever I wanted to. Effectively I was an animal. I was unkempt and I never bathed. Those who encountered me ran in fright at the sight of me. My conscious mind no longer existed. That I survived at all somehow surprised me. I picked a flea from my groin and studied it for a while before eating it. That flea would not bite me again.

It was England. I was not sure when. I allowed my memory to travel back a little further.

I was considered by those in the village to be a wise man and I was often called upon to settle petty disputes or to provide advice. I did this for a fee, usually food of some description. I spent most of my time sitting in front of a fire which I kept burning in the centre of the village. I would sit for hours staring into the flames. Others would often come and sit with me without a word before leaving to go about their business.

I was known as a seer and a magician. I saw many events within those flames. The simple villagers believed that I brought them good luck.

After many years of staring at those flames, I began to understand that much of what I saw were memories of previous lifetimes. At first the knowledge within the flames had intrigued me, but then I saw everything, and I knew everything, which was too much for me to comprehend. Was I really God living amongst those villagers. 'It cannot be.' I said to myself, over and over again. I stood and with sightless eyes I left that village, never to return.

I walked for what felt like years, before I found a small cave and decided to make it my home. I sat outside my cave staring at the sun, muttering to myself, 'It cannot be, it cannot be'.

I had found the truth of our existence within me and my knowledge of the truth of our existence had overwhelmed me, closing my conscious mind down completely.

I did remember being overwhelmed by awareness, as God had once told me that I would.

I was a female spider. I had just finished mating, and I had killed my mate. I looked at the body without satisfaction. The body would provide nourishment. It was that simple. I had mated before.

I stared at the creature towering above me. It was another lifetime and I was again a spider. The creature who was a woman removed her shoe and stuck me with great force. I did not feel the blow as my spirit left my body. As I floated upwards, I watched the woman wipe the bottom of her shoe on a rock, before she replaced her shoe back onto her foot.

Both the male spider, and the woman who had killed me had been the same soul. It was Nancy.

"You are now experiencing maintaining your support for those you care about, whilst you seek to better support those you care about in the future. You have now experienced that maintaining your support for those you care about can be achieved, because you have maintained your support for those you care about in this lifetime. You have maintained your support for those you care about at a great personal cost and sacrifice through maintaining your employment whilst undergoing these highly concentrated experiences which have been your journey. How much easier would it have been for you to simply walk away from your earth plane responsibilities? You have well and truly established that you have maintained your support for those you care about.

"You have also established that you could not walk away from your earth plane responsibilities because of the character which you chose in this lifetime. You chose to experience maintaining your responsibilities, because you have already experienced not maintaining your responsibilities. By maintaining your responsibilities, you have coincidently provided the example that one can become a master from within their own environment, regardless of their difficulties, which is why you were conveniently chosen for this role.

"Do you believe that it is coincidence that your loved ones in this lifetime were your loved ones in your Native American lifetime as well? You have remembered much, you have remembered that your wife in that lifetime is also your wife Katerina, in this lifetime. As a Native American you did not provide support for your wife whilst you were separated from her, so is it that surprising that in this lifetime you do provide support whilst you are separated from her? Is it coincidence that your wife's mother in the Native American lifetime is now your wife's mother in this lifetime?

"Is it also coincidence that you have not recalled connections with souls who rely on your support until now, when it is time to draw on those memories?"